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| "The noble soul par excellence. The man as man should be. The self-sufficient, self-confident, the end of ends, the reason unto himself, the joy of living personified. Above all – the man who lives for himself, as living for oneself should be understood. And who triumphs completely.
A man who is what he should be
A quick, sharp mind, courageous and not afraid to be hurt, has long since grasped and understood completely that the world is not what he is and just exactly what the world is. Consequently, he can no longer be hurt. The world has no painful surprise for him, since he has accepted long ago just what he is to expect from the world.
He does not suffer, because he does not believe in suffering. Defeat or disappointment are merely a part of the battle. Nothing can really touch him. He is concerned only with what he does. Not how he feels. How he feels is entirely a matter of his own, which cannot be influenced by anything and anyone on the outside. His feeling is a steady unruffled flame, deep and hidden, a profound joy of living and of knowing his power, a joy that is not even conscious of being joy, because it is so steady natural and unchangeable.
He will be himself at any cost – the only thing he really wants of life. And deep inside of him, he knows that he has the ability to win the right to be himself. Consequently, his life is clear, simple, satisfying and joyous – even if very hard outwardly.
He is in conflict with the world in every possible way –
and at complete peace with himself."
- Ayn Rand | | |
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The plight of pursuing the pinnacle:
a disappointing debacle.
As endless self-investment earns no vested interest,
the only returns concern doubt.
Yearning, not without earning,
a reflection with direction
and perpetual potential.
Is this montage of ideals a mirage?
To cut my loses,
shall I toss this zeal
and flee this fantasy of wide-eyed pride?
Will I, at last,
heel to the idyllic life of mass appeal
and abandon the idealistic strife I’ve spun? | | |
| The principal of focusing on improving oneself to improve one’s relationships, which I expressed in the August entries, is one I have lived by for as long as I remember. But this year, in the pursuit of this precept, I have become increasingly aware that as I have progressed, so have my standards. The more I exceed the expectations of others, the higher I raise my own. As I inch closer to self-actualization, I adamantly seek a self-actualized partner; a practice in which one seems destined to drown in disappointment. The pursuit of perfection is a lonely path. On it, one incurs the risk of never settling down as one refuses to ever settle.
Those who know me, warn me, “You’re extremely too picky.”
I admit I have no patience when it becomes apparent in a relationship that there is not a balance. If I find myself in such a relationship, I quickly cut my losses. Costs vs. benefits analysis determines the state of my unions. I will tolerate nothing less than 50/50 as I do not believe that the art of love is the art of complacence.
To each one’s own?
No.
To each one’s earned.
To deserve, and potentially obtain perfection in a partner,
one must first be able to be a perfect partner.
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Relationships take a tremendous
amount of time and energy.
Upon the loss of love,
one should recognize and utilize
the glorious opportunity to redistribute
that time and energy to improving oneself.
Time spent wasting away in mourning
and/or regret is wasted time.
While the loss of love naturally leads to
persistent reflection on the past, one must,
as one is always advised,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
If all one has is oneself,
then concentrate upon oneself.
It is a beautiful experience when
two people grow together,
but when they grow apart,
it is imperative that each focuses,
perhaps more than ever,
on growing as an individual.
Power is almost always associated
with the ability to control and change
what is around oneself.
But true power lies in self-control
and, most importantly,
our ability to change ourselves. | | |
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The loss of love is a humbling work out.
The resulting fatigue can be overwhelming.
While enduring the experience, many choose
to close their broken heart and refuse
to allow happiness to penetrate.
This is a mistake.
An unused heart atrophies.
This only leads to future suffering.
Like a literal muscle, the figurative heart must
be broken down to grow stronger than before.
One must not be afraid to exercise one’s heart.
Can a lost love be regained?
This is irrelevant.
The most pertinent priority is to
cleanse oneself of the internal flaws
which caused the relationship to be unfruitful.
This way, in either the case of new-found love
or found-again love, the flaws can not serve
as cause for another loss of love. | | |
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